EMPTY NEST SYNDROME
Are you struggling with your eldest child leaving for university…
What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Empty Nest Syndrome is a time when a child leaves the home to move away to university. This can be a heart wrenching time for both parents but especially for the mother. The shock of you being around your child for 18 years and now they have moved out can leave you feeling empty inside.
Although no one has died the same symptoms of grief and heartache are very much felt particularly within a loving family.
This is in every way a new chapter in life, how everyone has to adjust to the new challenges that life has brought you.
The Feeling of Grief.
There is a bag of mixed feelings surrounding the whole situation of what is happening. On one part you have to be happy that they are doing well and thriving, as well as being educated in their chosen field of knowledge. Of course with this double edged sword, you have the negative emotion that just seems to overwhelm the positives especially to begin with.
The feeling of loss and the emptiness in the house at certain times and the things you shared has this could be a time when you no longer have your child’s friends coming around either.
What Can You Do About It…
If you have experienced grief before, then you will recognise the similarity in the emotional feelings. It’s not good to hold onto the negative feelings, as indeed men (fathers) may do. Feeling like an emotional wreck right now, may feel like you’ll never get rid of this.
I think that you should give yourself permission to cry, and parents should be encouraged to express this together if their relationship can do this. This isn’t about a weakness but recognising that you are both feeling the same and this can be your strength. Although one part of the relationship may feel stronger and keep a sense of reality and calmness within the house hold.
Never feel bad about how you feel even though you think that it’s silly as this emotion needs to come out of you so that the healing can take place. It’s okay to avoid the negativity for a while as you don’t want to burst into tears while in the shops.
Your Time To Change.
You have the opportunity to rediscover yourself, but this may be hard as you have probably been at the beck and call for the family for many years. It is important that you have new challenges in your life, this will have to be your calling so to speak as everyone is different and you have to do what feels right.
You don’t have to have a a knee jerk reaction to doing whatever comes along. This could be joining a group with like minded interests. You can even start one of your own. There is an App called ‘meet-up’ as this can also be a way of you getting over your fears of either going out or being allowed to learn how to be you once more.
Anxious Times Ahead!
This can be an understatement of how you feel right now. Once you get over the initial shock and time moves on you will soon realise how time distortion kicks in and before you know it, they are on their way back home and you will be wondering why you felt the way you did.
In the meantime however, as all the new students at Birmingham University and of course the many universities around the country, students are all equally leaving grief stricken parents everywhere. Your kids are possibly feeling the same way, but they have new surrounding and new interests and certainly their new found freedom. So these kids are distracted to say the least, while you are at home crying your eyes out.
This is all natural, but this still leaves you feeling anxious because of wondering if they are okay and not getting into trouble etc…
As I have mentioned that anxiety, fear, stress and grief play a major part in the overall well-being of you, that said if you don’t deal with this, then you too will suffer. It is documented that mothers particularly can get breast cancer and even brain legends** or scaring on the brain because of the child leaving home for the first time. Of course kids can leave home many times, if they are in a career that calls them away for months at-a-time.
You may feel like you only want to talk about how you feel and that’s okay, also you may want to try hypnosis to get a better understanding of yourself. This could be to help you find confidence to go out and face the world as a new you.
The Nexus Team can also offer EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) ,this is a great way to help get your brain and especially your mind to cope better with the present situation. This also helps people with that grief feeling.
Anxiety Hypnosis also helps you by allowing the mind to readjust to the new immediate difficulties and help get you away from feeling like an emotional wreck. But you don’t have to feel at your worst to see me as you can have a free complimentary consultation to be accessed to see whether you would benefit from my help.
Help is Here.
If you need or require some help with either talk therapy or hypnotherapy to help you with how you are feeling right now and you live in and around the Birmingham area of Walsall etc. then contact The Nexus Team.
Give me a call to find out more, also I will help you every step of the way to help you with your recovery by helping you feel calm and confident. Helping to get you back in control, or contact me to help you with your particular situation and I will answer any questions you have.
Until then you can download my free 7 tips on how to Axe-Anxiety. Click HERE. Also get talking to family and friends to help put yourself at ease and soon everything will start to ease.
To Sum up.
Congratulate yourself for getting your child to be able to get into university and this is what you have all been working towards. Also that they are probably having a good time and this is a time when we all have mobiles and can easily stay in touch also with social media. Feel sad and cry if you need to, but don’t stay there and move forward. This was bound to happen but notice that it will become less traumatic each day and the rawness will fade. Above all don’t be to hard on yourself as you might have other children who need you attention more then ever now.
The Nexus Team Anxiety Hypnosis offers a range of therapies that can suit you as not everyone wants to be hypnotised..
Anxiety Hypnosis Helping You Towards Success.