Kids get stressed too you know…
Where does all the stress we have come from and more in particular the stress in children. Children have a real hard time, think about it, I mean they have to fit in with their peers and so much has to be right. From the colour of their hair to brand named clothes if it’s a non uniform school. Also their smell, spots, wearing glasses, overweight or too skinny and the area they come from and how they fit into the cliques at school. Also how well they do in sports and games, which they support and the video games and programmes they watch. And at puberty you have the hormones and sexual orientation. More so now than ever before as there is social media from Facebook and twitter the whole event of school is relentless on them, teachers to performance of homework and exams.
No wonder kids are as good as they are, because they now have to deal with grumpy parents to even beatings or sexual abuse. Or belonging to one parent families, or a parent who has multiple partners.
But some of this can be avoided if we only spoke to children in a positive way and this in turn would make you feel better and because of the positive talking you then feel more positive in yourself.
How not to talk to kids.
Here’s an example of how parents, grandparents etc talk to kids. “don’t fall, be careful you’ll slip, you’ll hurt yourself, don’t run you’ll fall and hurt yourself, eat all your food, don’t be wasteful, you should know better, don’t spill it, you’ve made a mess now, I’m going to smack you, I’m watching you, you could do better, shut-up, keep still, don’t move, you’re a naughty child, people won’t like you. as well as the swearing and shouting involved. You may know of others, but this is just a quick example and depending on the person saying these whether teachers, parents, and other family members, the tonality can be destructive if said in a harsh negative tone of voice.
Xbox doesn’t have a problem!
Here are some tips on how to inspire and help your child in positive language and they are really simple: Tonality of your voice is key, and keep it light, by that I mean if you call a dog towards you in a harsh manner, …get here NOW! The dog is reluctant to come to you, but if you keep a higher tone as if you’re calling a dog to have some food from you, you know your tone is different. This has to be the same with kids. Say when they are running , tell them that they are doing really well and pick you your legs as you run, … Well done I knew you could do it! Or when they have a glass full of juice, …you’re the best at keeping all that juice in the glass. Also say well done to them. Tell them that you know they know loads more about something than you do, and get them to show you. If a child fidgets, have ago at getting them to dance. You may well say to me that they won’t keep still, but I guess the xbox doesn’t have a problem in getting their attention. Above everything, interact with your child, go out and play and be a big kid yourself. So stay positive and good luck and remember your kid is having just as hard time as you are, and they don’t always have the adult mind to express themselves with the proper language skill that the grownups have.